Contents

By Mark Twain
From Following the Equator (1897).


CHAPTER I.
The Party--Across America to Vancouver--On Board the Warrimo--Steamer Chairs-The Captain-Going Home under a Cloud--A Gritty Purser --The Brightest Passenger--Remedy for Bad Habits--The Doctor and the Lumbago --A Moral Pauper--Limited Smoking--Remittance-men.

CHAPTER II.
Change of Costume--Fish, Snake, and Boomerang Stories--Tests of Memory --A Brahmin Expert--General Grant's Memory--A Delicately Improper Tale

CHAPTER III.
Honolulu--Reminiscences of the Sandwich Islands--King Liholiho and His Royal Equipment--The Tabu--The Population of the Island--A Kanaka Diver --Cholera at Honolulu--Honolulu; Past and Present--The Leper Colony

CHAPTER IV.
Leaving Honolulu--Flying-fish--Approaching the Equator--Why the Ship Went Slow--The Front Yard of the Ship--Crossing the Equator--Horse Billiards or Shovel Board--The Waterbury Watch--Washing Decks--Ship Painters--The Great Meridian--The Loss of a Day--A Babe without a Birthday

CHAPTER V.
A lesson in Pronunciation--Reverence for Robert Burns--The Southern Cross--Troublesome Constellations--Victoria for a Name--Islands on the Map--Alofa and Fortuna--Recruiting for the Queensland Plantations-- Captain Warren's NoteBook--Recruiting not thoroughly Popular

CHAPTER VI.
Missionaries Obstruct Business--The Sugar Planter and the Kanaka--The Planter's View--Civilizing the Kanaka The Missionary's View--The Result-- Repentant Kanakas--Wrinkles--The Death Rate in Queensland

CHAPTER VII.
The Fiji Islands--Suva--The Ship from Duluth--Going Ashore--Midwinter in Fiji--Seeing the Governor--Why Fiji was Ceded to England--Old time Fijians--Convicts among the Fijians--A Case Where Marriage was a Failure Immortality with Limitations .

CHAPTER VIII.
A Wilderness of Islands--Two Men without a Country--A Naturalist from New Zealand--The Fauna of Australasia--Animals, Insects, and Birds--The Ornithorhynchus--Poetry and Plagiarism

CHAPTER IX.
Close to Australia--Porpoises at Night--Entrance to Sydney Harbor--The Loss of the Duncan Dunbar--The Harbor--The City of Sydney--Spring-time in Australia--The Climate--Information for Travelers--The Size of Australia --A Dust-Storm and Hot Wind

CHAPTER X.
The Discovery of Australia--Transportation of Convicts--Discipline-- English Laws, Ancient and Modern--Flogging Prisoners to Death--Arrival of Settlers--New South Wales Corps--Rum Currency--Intemperance Everywhere $100,000 for One Gallon of Rum--Development of the Country--Immense Resources

CHAPTER XI.
Hospitality of English-speaking People--Writers and their Gratitude--Mr. Gane and the Panegyrics--Population of Sydney An English City with American Trimming--"Squatters"--Palaces and Sheep Kingdoms--Wool and Mutton--Australians and Americans--Costermonger Pronunciation--England is "Home"--Table Talk--English and Colonial Audiences 124

CHAPTER XII.
Mr. X., a Missionary--Why Christianity Makes Slow Progress in India--A Large Dream--Hindoo Miracles and Legends--Sampson and Hanuman--The Sandstone Ridge--Where are the Gates?

CHAPTER XIII.
Public Works in Australasia--Botanical Garden of Sydney--Four Special Socialties--The Government House--A Governor and His Functions--The Admiralty House--The Tour of the Harbor--Shark Fishing--Cecil Rhodes' Shark and his First Fortune--Free Board for Sharks.

CHAPTER XIV.
Bad Health--To Melbourne by Rail--Maps Defective--The Colony of Victoria --A Round-trip Ticket from Sydney--Change Cars, from Wide to Narrow Gauge, a Peculiarity at Albury--Customs-fences--"My Word"--The Blue Mountains--Rabbit Piles--Government R. R. Restaurants--Duchesses for Waiters--"Sheep-dip"-- Railroad Coffee--Things Seen and Not Seen

CHAPTER XV.
Wagga-Wagga--The Tichborne Claimant--A Stock Mystery--The Plan of the Romance--The Realization--The Henry Bascom Mystery--Bascom Hall--The Author's Death and Funeral

CHAPTER XVI.
Melbourne and its Attractions--The Melbourne Cup Races--Cup Day--Great Crowds--Clothes Regardless of Cost--The Australian Larrikin--Is He Dead? Australian Hospitality--Melbourne Wool-brokers--The Museums--The Palaces --The Origin of Melbourne

CHAPTER XVII.
The British Empire--Its Exports and Imports--The Trade of Australia--To Adelaide--Broken Hill Silver Mine--A Roundabout road--The Scrub and its Possibilities for the Novelist--The Aboriginal Tracker--A Test Case--How Does One Cow-Track Differ from Another?

CHAPTER XVIII.
Gum Trees--Unsociable Trees--Gorse and Broom--A universal Defect--An Adventurer--Wanted L200, got L20,000,000--A Vast Land Scheme--The Smash- up--The Corpse Got Up and Danced--A Unique Business by One Man-- Buying the Kangaroo Skin--The Approach to Adelaide--Everything Comes to Him who Waits--A Healthy Religious sphere--What is the Matter with the Specter?

CHAPTER XIX.
The Botanical Gardens--Contributions from all Countries--The Zoological Gardens of Adelaide--The Laughing Jackass--The Dingo--A Misnamed Province--Telegraphing from Melbourne to San Francisco--A Mania for Holidays--The Temperature-- The Death Rate--Celebration of the Reading of the Proclamation of 1836--Some old Settlers at the Commemoration--Their Staying Powers--The Intelligence of the Aboriginal-- The Antiquity of the Boomerang

CHAPTER XX.
A Caller--A Talk about Old Times--The Fox Hunt--An Accurate Judgment of an Idiot--How We Passed the Custom Officers in Italy

CHAPTER XXI.
The"Weet-Weet"--Keeping down the Population--Victoria--Killing the Aboriginals--Pioneer Days in Queensland--Material for a Drama--The Bush-- Pudding with Arsenic Revenge--A Right Spirit but a Wrong Method--Death of Donga Billy

CHAPTER XXII.
Continued Description of Aboriginals--Manly Qualities--Dodging Balls-- Feats of Spring--Jumping--Where the Kangaroo Learned its Art 'Well Digging--Endurance--Surgery--Artistic Abilities--Fennimore Cooper's Last Chance--Australian Slang

CHAPTER XXIII.
To Horsham (Colony of Victoria)--Description of Horsham--At the Hotel-- Pepper Tree-The Agricultural College, Forty Pupils--High Temperature-- Width of Road in Chains, Perches, etc.--The Bird with a Forgettable Name- -The Magpie and the Lady--Fruit Trees--Soils--Sheep Shearing--To Stawell --Gold Mining Country--$75,000 per Month Income and able to Keep House-- Fine Grapes and Wine--The Dryest Community on Earth--The Three Sisters-- Gum Trees and Water

CHAPTER XXIV.
Road to Ballarat--The City--Great Gold Strike, 1851--Rush for Australia-- "Great Nuggets"--Taxation--Revolt and Victory-- Peter Lalor and the Eureka Stockade--"Pencil Mark"--Fine Statuary at Ballarat--Population-- Ballarat English

CHAPTER XXV.
Bound for Bendigo--The Priest at Castlemaine--Time Saved by Walking-- Description of Bendigo--A Valuable Nugget--Perseverence and Success-- Mr. Blank and His Influence--Conveyance of an Idea--I Had to Like the Irishman--Corrigan Castle, and the Mark Twain Club--My Bascom Mystery Solved

CHAPTER XXVI.
Where New Zealand Is--But Few Know--Things People Think They Know--The Yale Professor and His Visitor from N. Z.

CHAPTER XXVII.
The South Pole Swell--Tasmania--Extermination of the Natives--The Picture Proclamation--The Conciliator--The Formidable Sixteen

CHAPTER XXVIII.
When the Moment Comes the Man Appears--Why Ed. Jackson called on Commodore Vanderbilt--Their Interview--Welcome to the Child of His Friend --A Big Time but under Inspection--Sent on Important Business--A Visit to the Boys on the Boat

CHAPTER XXIX:
Tasmania, Early Days--Description of the Town of Hobart--An Englishman's Love of Home Surroundings--Neatest City on Earth--The Museum--A Parrot with an Acquired Taste--Glass Arrow Beads--Refuge for the Indigent too healthy

CHAPTER XXX.
Arrival at Bluff, N. Z.--Where the Rabbit Plague Began--The Natural Enemy of the Rabbit--Dunedin--A Lovely Town--Visit to Dr. Hockin--His Museum-- A Liquified Caterpillar--The Unperfected Tape Worm--The Public Museum and Picture

CHAPTER XXXI.
The Express Train--"A Hell of a Hotel at Maryborough"-- Clocks and Bells--Railroad Service.

CHAPTER XXXII.v
Description of the Town of Christ Church--A Fine Museum--Jade-stone Trinkets--The Great Man--The First Maori in New Zealand--Women Voters-- "Person" in New Zealand Law Includes Woman--Taming an Ornithorhynchus-- A Voyage in the 'Flora' from Lyttelton--Cattle Stalls for Everybody-- A Wonderful Time.

CHAPTER XXXIII.
The Town of Nelson--"The Mongatapu Murders," the Great Event of the Town --Burgess' Confession--Summit of Mount Eden--Rotorua and the Hot Lakes and Geysers--Thermal Springs District--Kauri Gum--Tangariwa Mountains .

CHAPTER XXXIV.
The Bay of Gisborne--Taking in Passengers by the Yard Arm--The Green Ballarat Fly--False Teeth--From Napier to Hastings by the Ballarat Fly Train--Kauri Trees--A Case of Mental Telegraphy

CHAPTER XXXV.
Fifty Miles in Four Hours--Comfortable Cars--Town of Wauganui--Plenty of Maoris--On the Increase--Compliments to the Maoris--The Missionary Ways all Wrong--The Tabu among the Maoris--A Mysterious Sign--Curious War- monuments--Wellington .

CHAPTER XXXVI.
The Poems of Mrs. Moore--The Sad Fate of William Upson--A Fellow Traveler Imitating the Prince of Wales--A Would-be Dude--Arrival at Sydney-- Curious Town Names with Poem

CHAPTER XXXVII.
>From Sydney for Ceylon--A Lascar Crew--A Fine Ship--Three Cats and a Basket of Kittens--Dinner Conversations--Veuve Cliquot Wine--At Anchor in King George's Sound Albany Harbor--More Cats--A Vulture on Board--Nearing the Equator again--Dressing for Dinner--Ceylon, Hotel Bristol--Servant Brampy--A Feminine Man--Japanese Jinriksha or Cart--Scenes in Ceylon--A Missionary School--Insincerity of Clothes

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Steamer Rosettes to Bombay--Limes 14 cents a Barrel--Bombay, a Bewitching City--Descriptions of People and Dress--Woman as a Road Decoration-- India, the Land of Dreams and Romance--Fourteen Porters to Carry Baggage- -Correcting a Servant--Killing a Slave--Arranging a Bedroom--Three Hours' Work and a Terrible Racket--The Bird of Birds, the Indian Crow

CHAPTER XXXIX.
God Vishnu, 108 Names--Change of Titles or Hunting for an Heir--Bombay as a Kaleidoscope--The Native's Man Servant--Servants' Recommendations--How Manuel got his Name and his English--Satan--A Visit from God

CHAPTER XL.
The Government House at Malabar Point--Mansion of Kumar Shri Samatsin Hji Bahadur--The Indian Princess--A Difficult Game--Wardrobe and Jewels-- Ceremonials--Decorations when Leaving--The Towers of Silence--A Funeral

CHAPTER XLI.
Jain Temple--Mr. Roychand's Bungalow--A Decorated Six-Gun Prince--Human Fireworks--European Dress, Past and Present--Complexions--Advantages with the Zulu--Festivities at the Bungalow-Nautch Dancers--Entrance of the Prince--Address to the Prince

CHAPTER XLII.
A Hindoo Betrothal, midnight, Sleepers on the ground, Home of the Bride of Twelve Years Dressed as a Boy--Illumination Nautch Girls--Imitating Snakes--Later--Illuminated Porch Filled with Sleepers--The Plague .

CHAPTER XLIII
Murder Trial in Bombay--Confidence Swindlers--Some Specialities of India- -The Plague, Juggernaut, Suttee, etc.--Everything on Gigantic Scale -- India First in Everything--80 States, more Custom Houses than Cats--Rich Ground for Thug Society

CHAPTER XLIV.
Thug Book--Supplies for Traveling, Bedding, and other Freight--Scene at Railway Station--Making Way for White Man--Waiting Passengers, High and Low Caste, Touch in the cars--Our Car--Beds made up--Dreaming of Thugs-- Baroda--Meet Friends--Indian Well--The Old Town--Narrow Streets--A Mad Elephant

CHAPTER XLV.
Elephant Riding--Howdahs--The New Palace--The Prince's Excursion--Gold and Silver Artillery--A Vice-royal Visit--Remarkable Dog--The Bench Show --Augustin Daly's Back Door--Fakeer

CHAPTER XLVI.
The Thugs--Government Efforts to Exterminate them--Choking a Victim A Fakeer Spared--Thief Strangled

CHAPTER XLVII.
Thugs, Continued--Record of Murders--A Joy of Hunting and Killing Men-- Gordon Gumming--Killing an Elephant--Family Affection among Thugs-- Burial Places

CHAPTER XLVIII.
Starting for Allahabad--Lower Berths in Sleepers--Elderly Ladies have Preference of Berths--An American Lady Takes One Anyhow--How Smythe Lost his Berth--How He Got Even--The Suttee

CHAPTER XLIX.
Pyjamas--Day Scene in India--Clothed in a Turban and a Pocket Handkerchief--Land Parceled Out--Established Village Servants--Witches in Families--Hereditary Midwifery--Destruction of Girl Babies-- Wedding Display--Tiger-Persuader--Hailstorm Discourages--The Tyranny of the Sweeper--Elephant Driver--Water Carrier--Curious Rivers--Arrival at Allahabad--English Quarter--Lecture Hall Like a Snowstorm--Private Carriages--A Milliner--Early Morning--The Squatting Servant--A Religious Fair

CHAPTER L.
On the Road to Benares--Dust and Waiting--The Bejeweled Crowd--A Native Prince and his Guard--Zenana Lady--The Extremes of Fashion--The Hotel at Benares--An Annex a Mile Away--Doors in India--The Peepul Tree--Warning against Cold Baths--A Strange Fruit--Description of Benares--The Beginning of Creation--Pilgrims to Benares--A Priest with a Good Business Stand--Protestant Missionary--The Trinity Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu-- Religion the Business at Benares

CHAPTER LI.
Benares a Religious Temple--A Guide for Pilgrims to Save Time in Securing Salvation

CHAPTER LII.
A Curious Way to Secure Salvation--The Banks of the Ganges--Architecture Represents Piety--A Trip on the River--Bathers and their Costumes-- Drinking the Water--A Scientific Test of the Nasty Purifier--Hindoo Faith in the Ganges--A Cremation--Remembrances of the Suttee--All Life Sacred Except Human Life--The Goddess Bhowanee, and the Sacrificers--Sacred Monkeys--Ugly Idols Everywhere--Two White Minarets--A Great View with a Monkey in it--A Picture on the Water

CHAPTER LIII.
Still in Benares--Another Living God--Why Things are Wonderful--Sri 108 Utterly Perfect--How He Came so--Our Visit to Sri--A Friendly Deity Exchanging Autographs and Books--Sri's Pupil--An Interesting Man-- Reverence and Irreverence--Dancing in a Sepulchre

CHAPTER LIV.
Rail to Calcutta--Population--The "City of Palaces"--A Fluted Candle- stick--Ochterlony--Newspaper Correspondence--Average Knowledge of Countries--A Wrong Idea of Chicago--Calcutta and the Black Hole-- Description of the Horrors--Those Who Lived--The Botanical Gardens--The Afternoon Turnout--Grand Review--Military Tournament--Excursion on the Hoogly--The Museum--What Winter Means Calcutta .

CHAPTER LV
On the Road Again--Flannels in Order--Across Country--From Greenland's Icy Mountain--Swapping Civilization--No Field women in India--How it is in Other Countries--Canvas-covered Cars--The Tiger Country--My First Hunt Some Elephants Get Away--The Plains of India--The Ghurkas--Women for Pack-Horses--A Substitute for a Cab--Darjeeling--The Hotel--The Highest Thing in the Himalayas-- The Club--Kinchinjunga and Mt. Everest-- Thibetans--The Prayer Wheel--People Going to the Bazar

CHAPTER LVI.
On the Road Again--The Hand-Car--A Thirty-five-mile Slide--The Banyan Tree--A Dramatic Performance--The Railroad--The Half-way House--The Brain Fever Bird--The Coppersmith Bird--Nightingales and Cue Owls

CHAPTER LVII.
India the Most Extraordinary Country on Earth--Nothing Forgotten--The Land of Wonders--Annual Statistics Everywhere about Violence--Tiger vs. Man--A Handsome Fight--Annual Man Killing and Tiger Killing--Other Animals--Snakes--Insurance and Snake Tables--The Cobra Bite--Muzaffurpore --Dinapore--A Train that Stopped for Gossip--Six Hours for Thirty-five Miles--A Rupee to the Engineer--Ninety Miles an Hour--Again to Benares, the Piety Hive To Lucknow

CHAPTER LVIII.
The Great Mutiny--The Massacre in Cawnpore--Terrible Scenes in Lucknow-- The Residency--The Siege

CHAPTER LIX.
A Visit to the Residency--Cawnpore--The Adjutant Bird and the Hindoo Corpse--The Tai Mahal--The True Conception--The Ice Storm--True Gems-- Syrian Fountains--An Exaggerated Niagara

CHAPTER LX.
To Lahore--The Governor's Elephant--Taking a Ride-No Danger from Collision--Rawal Pindi--Back to Delhi--An Orientalized Englishman-- Monkeys and the Paint-pot--Monkey Crying over my Note-book--Arrival at Jeypore--In Rajputana--Watching Servants--The Jeypore Hotel--Our Old and New Satan--Satan as a Liar--The Museum--A Street Show--Blocks of Houses-- A Religious Procession

CHAPTER LXI.
Methods in American Deaf and Dumb Asylums--Methods in the Public Schools --A Letter from a youth in Punjab--Highly Educated Service--A Damage to the Country--A Little Book from Calcutta--Writing Poor English-- Embarrassed by a Beggar Girl--A Specimen Letter--An Application for Employment--A Calcutta School Examination--Two Samples of Literature

CHAPTER LXII.
Sail from Calcutta to Madras--Thence to Ceylon--Thence for Mauritius-- The Indian Ocean--Our Captain's Peculiarity The Scot Has one too--The Flying-fish that Went Hunting in the Field--Fined for Smuggling--Lots of pets on Board--The Color of the Sea--The Most Important Member of Nature's Family--The Captain's Story of Cold Weather--Omissions in the Ship's Library--Washing Decks--Pyjamas on Deck--The Cat's Toilet--No Interest in the Bulletin--Perfect Rest--The Milky Way and the Magellan Clouds--Mauritius--Port Louis--A Hot Country--Under French Control-- A Variety of People and Complexions--Train to Curepipe--A Wonderful Office-holder--The Wooden Peg Ornament--The Prominent Historical Event of Mauritius--"Paul and Virginia"--One of Virginia's Wedding Gifts--Heaven Copied after Mauritius--Early History of Mauritius--Quarantines-- Population of all Kinds--What the World Consists of--Where Russia and Germany are--A Picture of Milan Cathedral--Newspapers--The Language--Best Sugar in the World--Literature of Mauritius

CHAPTER LXIII.
Port Louis--Matches no Good--Good Roads--Death Notices--Why European Nations Rob Each Other--What Immigrants to Mauritius Do--Population-- Labor Wages--The Camaron--The Palmiste and other Eatables--Monkeys--The Cyclone of 1892--Mauritius a Sunday Landscape

CHAPTER LXIV.
The Steamer "Arundel Castle"--Poor Beds in Ships--The Beds in Noah's Ark- -Getting a Rest in Europe--Ship in Sight--Mozambique Channel--The Engineer and the Band--Thackeray's "Madagascar"--Africanders Going Home-- Singing on the After Deck--An Out-of-Place Story--Dynamite Explosion in Johannesburg--Entering Delagoa Bay--Ashore--A Hot Winter--Small Town--No Sights--No Carriages--Working Women--Barnum's Purchase of Shakespeare's Birthplace, Jumbo, and the Nelson Monument--Arrival at Durban

CHAPTER LXV.
Royal Hotel Durban--Bells that Did not Ring--Early Inquiries for Comforts --Change of Temperature after Sunset-Rickhaws--The Hotel Chameleon-- Natives not out after the Bell--Preponderance of Blacks in Natal--Hair Fashions in Natal--Zulus for Police--A Drive round the Berea--The Cactus and other Trees--Religion a Vital Matter--Peculiar Views about Babies-- Zulu Kings--A Trappist Monastery--Transvaal Politics--Reasons why the Trouble came About

CHAPTER LXVI.
Jameson over the Border--His Defeat and Capture--Sent to England for Trial--Arrest of Citizens by the Boers--Commuted sentences--Final Release of all but Two--Interesting Days for a Stranger--Hard to Understand Either Side--What the Reformers Expected to Accomplish--How They Proposed to do it--Testimonies a Year Later--A "Woman's Part"--The Truth of the South African Situation--"Jameson's Ride"--A Poem

CHAPTER LXVIL
Jameson's Raid--The Reform Committee's Difficult Task--Possible Plans-- Advice that Jameson Ought to Have--The War of 1881 and its Lessons-- Statistics of Losses of the Combatants--Jameson's Battles--Losses on Both Sides--The Military Errors--How the Warfare Should Have Been Carried on to Be Successful

CHAPTER LXVIII.
Judicious Mr. Rhodes--What South Africa Consists of--Johannesburg--The Gold Mines--The Heaven of American Engineers--What the Author Knows about Mining--Description of the Boer--What Should be Expected of Him--What Was A Dizzy Jump for Rhodes--Taxes--Rhodesian Method of Reducing Native Population--Journeying in Cape Colony--The Cars--The Country--The Weather--Tamed Blacks--Familiar Figures in King William's Town--Boer Dress--Boer Country Life--Sleeping Accommodations--The Reformers in Boer Prison--Torturing a Black Prisoner

CHAPTER LXIX.
An Absorbing Novelty--The Kimberley Diamond Mines--Discovery of Diamonds --The Wronged Stranger--Where the Gems Are--A Judicious Change of Boundary--Modern Machinery and Appliances--Thrilling Excitement in Finding a Diamond--Testing a Diamond--Fences--Deep Mining by Natives in the Compound--Stealing--Reward for the Biggest Diamond--A Fortune in Wine--The Great Diamond--Office of the De Beer Co.--Sorting the Gems-- Cape Town--The Most Imposing Man in British Provinces--Various Reasons for his Supremacy--How He Makes Friends

CONCLUSION.
Table Rock--Table Bay--The Castle--Government and Parliament--The Club-- Dutch Mansions and their Hospitality--Dr. John Barry and his Doings--On the Ship Norman--Madeira--Arrived in Southampton .








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